Pull the plug

I decided to join a dating site recently. I wrote an honest profile, put my real age and added a recent photo. I got a message from Bigplunger which said 'U are hot'. Should I be flattered? I think I'm better off being single. Really.

Deaf as a post

I visited my great, great grandmother's grave in June and asked for a guardian angel. I fell down stairs later that day and got a broken ankle. Do you think she's a little hard of hearing?

Turning back time

The clocks went back last night. Things I have done this morning with the extra hour - cleared up regurgitated go cat from carpet, picked up litter from teenager's floor, de-haired plughole in bath, combed cats, arranged delivery of cat food, ordered a couple of daily bus passes and had a extra mug of coffee. Time to put my feet up. Another exciting Sunday.

If it ain't broke...

Why did Opal Fruits become Starburst? Where did Spangles go? Whatever happened to Acid Drops. Was I the only child brought up believing that woodlice were called grampy pigs (embarassing when I forget the 'new' name). Money had friendly nicknames such as bob, penny, tuppence, tanner, half a crown which sounded much nicer than pee. Where did slips and petticoats go? Why did I have to grow up.

Clover

I am cutting the grass in my garden with scissors. Lawnmower and crutches are not a mix made in heaven. I sit on the grass and give it a trim then shuffle off to the next section. There is one patch of clover left which I may just leave to flower. The bees will approve.

Foxes boxes

There are three fox cubs that play in my garden daily. They bring things to play with. So far I have found:

A chewed Disney Pluto soft toy
3 stripey socks
1 black leather shoe (my size, not my style)
5 heavy duty gloves
2 sun hats
A plastic tray with 11 whole eggs in
A teddybear

My two cats are not impressed.

Lilacs

There is a bunch of dead lilacs in a jug on my table. There is no way that I can carry the jug (half full of brackish water) from the living room to the kitchen sink whilst on crutches. If I take the dead flowers out they will drop old petals on the floor which I can't vacuum. Getting up the garden steps and the sloping, overgrown lawn is another challenge and then there is the precarious balancing act of holding one crutch and trying to cut anything that will look nicer than dead lilac. Scissors tucked into the waistband of my skirt is risky. Mobile tucked into my bra is another matter. The little things in life are sometimes more difficult than the big things.

Pressed for time?

I bought a new TV.Whilst tossing and turning in discomfort most of the night I decided to be creative within safe limits today and pick flowers to press. My plan was to make pretty pictures in a couple of weeks when pressed flowers are dry. It's raining and windy. I'm not allowed to put weight on foot or get the dressing wet so the flowers will have to wait for another day. I'll sit and watch new TV instead. Doh!

Insult to injury?

Following on from my previous post - my TV has finally given up the ghost which is why I'm typing this blog. I could be doing creative stuff such as sewing together all the crochet squares I made, learning how to download photos or improving my hopping technique. I could think of a cunning plan to waterproof my leg so that I could bath or shower. I could design a crutch that turns into a wheelchair. Or, I may buy a new TV.

Snap!

I have finally snapped. I managed to break my ankle (both sides) and my big toe. It was easy to do - just slipped on the stairs from the loft bedroom and slid, foot first, into the bathroom wall. Frozen peas, swearing and a mug of tea failed to make it better. A trip to hospital two days later revealed the hat trick of fractures.

It is a real eye opener to learn who your friends are. I had my suspicions as life has not been easy over the past 6 months and only a few people have genuinely cared. Whoever ends up arranging my funeral (a long way off, hopefully) will have an easy time with the guest list. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Not dead yet

I will be back. Things have changed and I need to think positive thoughts to stay on top of stuff. I wasn't able to log in last time I tried but, oddly, it's suddenly worked today. There....the power of positive thoughts!